There are moments in life when you can feel completely unseen. You can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. You can hear people tell you that you are loved and still struggle to believe it. You can look at your life and wonder, “What is wrong with me?” or “Why does everyone else seem to have it together while I am barely holding myself together?”
Sometimes, the moment that changes everything doesn’t come when life is going well. Sometimes, it comes when you’re at your lowest.
On this episode of Divine Time, I had the opportunity to sit down with Courtney, whose healing journey began with an encounter she never expected—in the middle of a grocery store.
Ten years ago, Courtney was experiencing one of the lowest seasons of her life. She had recently gone through a divorce, had young children, had graduated from college without a job, and was without stable housing. She described being deep in depression, shame, self-hatred, and a feeling that her worth was connected to everything she was able to accomplish.
Then nine women walked up to her.
Courtney initially didn’t want anything to do with them. She wasn’t looking for a conversation. She didn’t feel like she had anything to offer anyone. But these women weren’t there to take something from her.
They told her they felt led to come to the grocery store because God had highlighted her to them.
And then they bought her groceries.
That moment completely changed the way Courtney viewed God.
She walked into that grocery store feeling as though God didn’t see her or care about what she was experiencing. She walked out feeling seen.
Sometimes Healing Begins When You Finally Let Yourself Be Seen
One of the biggest themes in Courtney’s story is the connection between worth, shame, and healing.
Growing up in a dysfunctional family system, Courtney learned behaviors that helped her survive as a child but later became obstacles in adulthood. She described learning to enable, give, suppress herself, and avoid conflict because those behaviors helped her feel safe.
That’s something many of us can relate to. The things we learned to do to survive aren’t necessarily the things we need to continue doing to thrive. Maybe you learned to stay quiet. Maybe you learned to keep everyone else happy. Maybe you learned that having needs made you a burden. Maybe you learned that love had to be earned. Maybe you learned that being yourself wasn’t safe. And eventually, those survival mechanisms can become walls.
Courtney described those walls as something she built to protect herself from being hurt. But those same walls also kept love and connection out—and kept her pain trapped inside. Healing meant learning how to lower those walls in a place of love and safety.
You Don’t Have to Earn Your Worth
One of the most powerful parts of our conversation was the realization that your worth doesn’t fluctuate based on what you’re accomplishing. You don’t become more valuable because you have a successful career. You don’t become less valuable because your kitchen is messy. You don’t become more worthy because everyone approves of you. And you don’t become less worthy because you’re struggling.
Courtney explained how her understanding of worth had once been tied to external accomplishments—being a good mother, wife, student, or accomplishing whatever she believed she was supposed to accomplish. When those things fell apart, so did her sense of value. But healing began when she started understanding that her worth wasn’t something she had to earn. And that realization changed everything.
What If You’re Struggling to Receive Love?
Courtney shared something during our conversation that really stood out to me: her idea of the “squirm line.” It’s that uncomfortable feeling that can happen when someone shows you more love than you believe you deserve.
Someone buys you dinner.
Someone shows up for you.
Someone encourages you.
Someone genuinely cares about you. And instead of simply receiving it, something inside you wants to run. You may reject it. You may sabotage the relationship. You may convince yourself that they don’t really mean it. You may even create conflict because receiving love feels unfamiliar.
Courtney explained that when you can resist the urge to run and allow yourself to receive that love, your capacity to receive can grow. That’s powerful. Because sometimes the problem isn’t that love isn’t around you. Sometimes you’re still learning how to receive it.
Healing Isn’t Just Spiritual—Sometimes It’s Practical
Another important lesson from Courtney’s story is that healing isn’t always some dramatic spiritual moment. Sometimes healing looks like setting a boundary. Sometimes it looks like speaking up when something bothers you. Sometimes it means learning to prioritize your needs. Sometimes it means getting help from a therapist, mentor, coach, or supportive community.
Courtney described her healing as taking the next step that was directly in front of her. And perhaps that’s something you need to hear today. You don’t have to figure out your entire life today. You just need to take the next healthy step.
Your Healing Can Change Your Legacy
Courtney didn’t want her healing to stop with her. She wanted her children to experience something different. She wanted to give them the voice she didn’t have. She wanted them to understand boundaries. She wanted them to feel empowered to say no.
She wanted them to be authentic. And she realized that one of the greatest ways to teach those things was to model them herself. That’s what makes healing so powerful. When you heal, you aren’t only changing your own life. You can change what gets passed down. You can become the example someone else needed.
Authentic Connection Requires Your Authentic Self
We also talked about connection. Courtney explained that authentic connection requires you to bring your real self to the table. If you’re constantly hiding behind a mask or a wall, people may connect with the version of you that you’re presenting—but they aren’t necessarily connecting with the real you. And that’s why self-connection matters.
Before you can build deep connections with others, you have to become willing to connect with yourself. Your emotions. Your needs. Your imperfections. Your truth. Your authentic identity. You cannot keep hiding yourself and simultaneously wonder why nobody truly knows you.
What Does Peace Really Mean?
When I asked Courtney what peace meant to her, she described it as being grounded in yourself and having an internal sense of security. Life can still happen. You can lose a job. You can experience disappointment. You can go through difficult seasons. But when you develop that internal sense of safety and know your worth, those circumstances don’t have to completely destroy your sense of self. That is a different kind of peace. Not the absence of problems. The presence of stability within yourself.
Maybe You Don’t Have to Clean Yourself Up Before God Finds You
If you’re listening to this and you feel lost, broken, ashamed, or disconnected from God, Courtney’s message is simple: You don’t have to fix everything before you allow God into your life. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay. You don’t have to hide your pain. You don’t have to become perfect first.
Courtney described learning to be completely honest with God about her anger, disappointment, pain, and confusion. Instead of discovering condemnation, she experienced a place where she could be vulnerable. Her encouragement was to stay open and look for the ways God may be reaching into your circumstances—even if it doesn’t look the way you expected.
Maybe it won’t be nine women in a grocery store. Maybe it’ll be a friend.
A conversation.
A community.
A moment of clarity.
A door opening.
A person who shows you unexpected kindness.
A moment that reminds you that you’re not alone.
Don’t Miss the Blessing Because It Doesn’t Look Like What You Expected
Toward the end of our conversation, I shared a story about someone waiting for Jesus while repeatedly turning away people who came to her needing help. The lesson was simple:
Sometimes we’re so focused on what we expect God, love, peace, or a blessing to look like that we fail to recognize it when it arrives.
Courtney wasn’t expecting nine women to approach her in a grocery store. But she was willing to receive what came next. And that encounter became part of a ten-year journey of healing, self-discovery, faith, boundaries, authenticity, and learning how to receive love. So I want to leave you with this:
What if the thing you’ve been praying for doesn’t arrive in the form you expected?
Will you recognize it?
Will you receive it?
Will you allow yourself to be loved?
Will you be willing to let your walls down?
And most importantly, will you remember that your worth isn’t determined by what you’ve accomplished, what you’ve lost, who stayed, or who walked away?
You are still worthy.
You are still valuable.
You still have a voice.
And your story isn’t finished.
Sometimes the hardest chapter becomes the foundation for the message you’re eventually able to share with someone else. Courtney’s story is a reminder that healing doesn’t erase your past. It transforms what your past means. And sometimes, Divine Time finds you right in the middle of the grocery store.
Relax your mind, it’s all in Divine Time.
Keep growing. Keep healing. Keep protecting your peace.
