By Danli Divine (this is also a letter to myself to remind me)
We live in a world that constantly pulls us in different directions. Family, friends, work, and responsibilities demand our energy, leaving little room for ourselves. We give and give—our time, love, and resources—often without realizing that we’ve neglected the most important person in the equation: Yourself
But what happens when we continuously pour into others while ignoring our own needs? Burnout, resentment, and an overwhelming sense of being lost. We forget what it feels like to do something just because it makes us happy. We put our dreams on hold, telling ourselves, I’ll get to it later, but later never seems to come. This, this is where I am currently at in life. The personal things that I have been through, seen, and secrets I am holding for others who have shown that they don’t care one bit about me or anyone else.
It’s time to change that. It’s time to give back to yourself or in my case “myself”
Why Giving Back to Yourself Matters
When we neglect ourselves, we lose touch with our passions, desires, and even our identity. Giving back to yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. When you prioritize your well-being, you’re not only happier, but you also show up as a better version of yourself for those you love. Think about this, what things did you love to do that you seem to not care much for anymore? What excuses do you tell yourself on why you can’t or don’t pursue those passions anymore?
Think about it: When was the last time you did something purely for you? Not out of obligation, not because someone needed you, but because it genuinely fed your soul? If you can’t remember, that’s a sign it’s time to start making yourself a priority. So stop going out with friends just to turnout to be the babysitter of grown children or the designated driver. Stop being there for others who will not do the same for you.
Ways to Give Back to Yourself
1. Listen to Your Inner Voice
What do you want? What have you been putting off? Take time to reflect on your dreams, desires, and the things that bring you joy. After having a covert narcissist accuse me of writing a poem about her in court (a poem on this blog actually that was originally written in 2016 years before I met her) I lost the desire to write but am reclaiming my power and continuing to pick back up writing and my short stories.
2. Set Boundaries
You don’t have to say yes to everything. Protect your time and energy by setting limits on what you take on. Saying no to others sometimes means saying yes to yourself. I had to get out of the habit of being reliable to everyone but myself. I realized that a great majority of my time was taken up by thinking of and putting others before myself. I had to create healthy boundaries and stand ten toes down on them. However, when you set boundaries beware that those fake friends will start to fall off. Either they will stop calling on you because they’re no longer a priority in your life. Or you will notice them saying you changed and it will feel draining on how often you seem to argue with this person.
3. Do What Brings You Joy—Without Guilt
Whether it’s reading a book, dancing, traveling, or simply resting, give yourself permission to enjoy life. Your happiness is just as important as everyone else’s. In this societal “normal” world we are groomed since birth to think about how the world perceives us. Am I pretty enough, am I smart enough, am I this, am I that? We allow the thoughts of others to dictate too many of our decisions subconsciously. You don’t necessarily think “are people going to judge me for reading at the park” but that weird feeling comes over you and many will choose not to bring that book because of it. However, sitting on your phone at the park alone is better? TF! Go do a random twirl in the aisle of Walmart, speak to a stranger and spark a conversation. Be as carefree as a toddler, they do what makes them happy and don’t care who is watching. Return to your true self!
4. Invest in Your Growth
Take that class, start that hobby, or pursue the passion you’ve been neglecting. Personal growth isn’t a luxury—it’s an act of self-love. I read a quote that stated “if you do something that doesn’t progress your life or teach you something. You have just wasted your time” So, are you wasting your time by not working on you?
5. Prioritize Self-Care
Take care of your mind, body, and spirit. Whether it’s through meditation, exercise, or simply taking a break, nurturing yourself is essential. If you are constantly on go mode (here, there, and everywhere) when do you get to see the fruits of your labor? The body will wear down, the mind can forget, and the spirit can get weak. In the Marine corps martial arts program I was an instructor of martial arts and we called this the warrior ethos!
You Deserve It
Giving back to yourself isn’t about neglecting others—it’s about remembering that you matter too. You can’t give your best to the world if you’re running on empty. So today, make the decision to choose you. Not just once, but as a daily practice. Because when you give back to yourself, you’re not just living—you’re thriving.
It’s time. What will you do today to give back to yourself?
If you made it this far leave a like, comment, and share to someone who needs to hear this. We all have silent battles, but it’s the war that should not be fought alone!
Blog: https://divinetime.blog/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Danli_divine
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61560621495900
Warriors of love Telegram group: https://t.me/Divine_time4love
Kick: https://kick.com/divinetimepodcast
Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/danlidivine
Divine time 