(This is a time where my heart was at its lowest
Where I have been at my most physical low)
Where you’re at a breaking point because of your incapability to survive
This pain I feel now is the lowest of low
That low from not being a lover, a good lover
I strive to be more than a provider
I strive to keep my women happy and satisfied
Sometimes it feels like the waves of the atlantic are crashing down on me and although the floatation device is in my grasp, everytime my arm flails to reach for it another wave beats me down.
Rightnow I feel like I am missing an important part that I can’t pinpoint
walking through a corn maze for hours overlooking the small creases of corn that has been pushed down to reveal a pathway. my eyes are focused on the wrong things.
With one woman I feel like she didn’t care based off how often I was begging, crying, and pleading to show me affection
Should I keep pouring my love into someone who seems to be better off alone and wants me when its convenient for her?
The other woman I feel like no matter what I do, it is not enough
To be drained by all the issues she has but only wants to talk about them and not work on providing a solution or think about why the same issues keep happening to her
I sacrifice my personal time for myself and still get told that she is hurt about time, physical touch.
Just to allow most of the time to flow towards her like rays of sunshine from a dwarf star that is evidently burning out
I just want to love them equally and wholeheartedly
however when one seems to not want to deal with the other and creates lies to try an manipulate her husband, me and my partner. Distrust sets in!
I guess my love does not reach very far for one to feel this type of way
allowing me to question what reality is setting in and doubt myself on my capabilities and the amount of love I pour out
What can I do to please both of these queens?
You can never want something for someone more than they want it for themself
I am trying to give more and more, but one’s issues is that she feels that I don’t receive her love
while it’s impossible to miss someone when they’re always around
I was raised not in love, but in discipline
“The instant willingness obedience to all orders”
When you are told to do something you do it
The Marine in me stands strong to this day and I will go to heaven and hell for you
I was raised in physical violence, bloodshed, hatred, mental abuse
But with all that I still found a way to love you
I still find a way to make others happy
I still rise each morning and smile at my kids when they say “Hi daddy”
The way I love is a reflection of how I want to be loved, held, and communicated to
So take heed and govern yourself accordingly for if you’re my boo
One states she is trying to understand how to love me
Watch how I love you
That is my “Tiny rick” way of telling you what I need!
This is my growth plan for my poly seed!
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