I am so tired of treating others as I want to be treated
Loving others how I want to be loved
Then to just get spit in the face
To feel like I just got my ass beat by someone I thought cared and loved me
So, I didn’t protect myself
Leaving me with pain and trauma that’s not seen but felt
Cause a man can’t show weakness
We can’t cry because we feel alone in a house full of our family
We can’t be scared that we are always broke trying to provide and working multiple jobs beyond a 9-5×5 sometimes
Wondering why this is happening, what am I doing wrong
Can it be so hard to love me or even treat me with some love, kindness, respect, or talk to me
I’m done with all of this,
I’m sure I’m better on my own
I’m sure I can do better all alone
Why listen to others who don’t want to listen to me
So shouldn’t I just listen to the black sheep within my head
Instead of being covered by a fire that’s never ending like a amaterasu black flame
I have stopped,
Stopped all my love from teaching and reaching out first to anyone who doesn’t show me they can do the same for me
I have dropped,
Dropped those who claim to care but have shown many times over that they do not
And my next step is to roll,
ROLL out of the lives of those who use, abuse, and take advantage of me being there, here, or where they want me to be but constantly refuse me!
I’m going to be returning to me, because I realize and after this last failed attempt at life and relationships,
I remember why I don’t need anyone for anything… cause I’m always left to do it myself in the end.
Divine time 