Secrets from a shadow

I understand that things have been rough and everything in us has been being tested. Even with that we made promises to one another…that we would still write daily. We are not even in the new realm yet and I am being shown that nothing is going to change because the little things, promises are not being met. I am starting to feel like that fool in a relationship that we all know and wonder why the person keeps doing it to themself.

The fool who keeps getting the “I will change” from their partner and stays hopeful but nothing changes. The fool who keeps trying to look for the positive but everytime they look down from looking up they realize they are patiently waiting stupidly. How long should a person wait and be hopeful when nothing changes and they keep getting met with empty promises? When they know the outcome of the situations because it has happened so many times already in the past…from the same person, how many times should one stay when they keep getting let down? Not fulfilling what you said you will do is a lie, I have been lied to more times than I can remember by you…is that not disrespectful?

Is that not grounds for termination? You said one of your boundaries is that you don’t want to be lied to, yet you keep doing it to me. I’m struggling to keep holding on and to keep being hopeful with a person who makes me feel like I am just here to keep her happy and doesn’t even bother to do the bare minimum I ask of to keep me happy. Maybe I am supposed to be alone or either if she had more experince on being in relationships things would be different?

I currently feel like I am with a Wednesday… just a version who won’t stand up for herself, others, or what is right based on society. An emotionless, scared, little girl who says all the right things, but her actions do the exact opposite. A girl who makes me feel like I am in an emotional relationship alone 😔.