Here Lies

Here lies a man of Anger
Hatred towards many for things that didn’t concern him

Consumed by rage from fights that lead him to a state of paranoia

To where he watched his back constantly and jumped at the sound of foot steps that rapidly approached

Here lies a man of Sorrow
With tears in his eyes from regretting the death of his stepsister

Having the last words he told her be out of rage and hate…

Not knowing that would be the last words she would hear from his mouth
Never to be able to see her again even at her funeral to apologize

Here lies a man of Depression consumed by a past of regrets of things he did not do, say, or failed to accomplish

So worried of what others would think of him if he did not perform to their standards

Here lies a man so full of emotions that it caused Physical altercations

Scars that have hit him so deep that the wounds are seen on his back and chest

A heart worn on his sleeve so often that it has been dehydrated and run through a grinder leaving it finer than a grain of kasava powder

Low self esteem that can date back to the Jurassic era and torn apart by velociraptors

A hearty meal to the predators of the land called humans

Where names he was called out of his name liquified him to a soggy melted mush of flan

Here lies a man with so many Childhood heartbreaks that even when a woman says they love him or adore him he can not find what it is they see in him.

A body so full of Lies that his first response was calculated to a tea to mislead you and send the bloodhounds off the scent of his nonexistent pride

Which lead him to becoming a cheater in life, relationships, and every aspect of his life

A man who would steal so often that his hands would often grab things on their own leaving him confused to how he often gained possession of them.

Hearts torn from the chest cavity of hopeless women who did not know how something so soft looking could be harder than a diamond to crack

Here lies a gangster, a gentleman, a G

A man who is so confused mentally, and struggling through so much pain physically and mentally that a rainbow can be seen as a catastrophic typhoon

Years of trauma firing constant memories from the amygdala causing the 4th of july and new years to feel like another warzone

Sorrow to wet the eyes in random times from having to withhold emotions for years just to keep an image up for others around me

When you are expected to be “Tough” for those around you because caring is seen as a weakness.

The stress of being melanated in America, being expected to be hood, fit into a stereotype, or be another statistic

They say that pain is weakness leaving the body

I must have so much weakness because I feel like I am forever in pain and my body is always screaming at me

screaming at me while I hide my pain behind a smile and servitude for the person I love

For them to put everyone else in their life before me as i slave to do everything they ask of me

No longer will I be a Seeker of approval from anyone but myself! I can not afford to be unhappy due to others wanting to keep me in their life for what and when they need something

I will forever fight this, I will forever be a victor to the thoughts of my mind and the way I love others

I am in full control of the codependency I once had

my life is mine and my happiness is mine to provide

Published by Divine Time Podcast/ Blog

A warrior of love, speaker of truth, an empath that has learned his purpose and is focusing on bringing knowledge and being the voice for others and sharing their stories as well as mine. If you feel your voice isn't heard or want to share your story email me at Ase. You're beautiful and loved. Don't let the evil bring you down! Poly and motivational

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